Prince Charming: William Tryst?
by My.Heart.Is.Diamond.Hard
Summary: Spuffy through the years! Chapter one is grade one, Chapter two is grade two... I love the idea of Spuffy meeting young and I hope you like it too! Please read and review! Escapades of bleach, jealousy and SPUFFY ensue!
1. Throughout the Castle

**_GRADE ONE_**

"_If princes are frogs and frogs are princes…..than what is Spike?" – Grace I. _

_Who wrote this with me, sadly she does not have an account but she did Beta this story…_

_**For all of you who are reading this I just want to let you know that I have cleared it so everyone who doesn't have an account can also review if they see fit. For everyone who is going to review I have some questions that would help me to better write this story, such as: When should I upload?, Do I have any spelling mistakes?, Should I fix any specific paragraph?, How do you want this story to end?, What could make my writing better? Should I stop writing long, annoying authors notes?**_

_**Just a note: There will be no grade three, due to my repressed memories of that grade I'm not sure how to write it realistically…. Is sarcasm commutable through words? **_

_**Also, sorry about the beginning chapters, the real Spuffy love doesn't start until chapter six, give or take. It's mostly because I structured this story to be a 'Spuffy through the years', chapter one is grade one, chapter two is grade two… So in the beginning there wasn't much I could do with the characters. So if you are a fluff addict chapters 1-5 will be more of your type or writing, and if you want more plot to the chapters you should read chapter 6 and so on, which I have great plans for. **_

_**So, on with the show: **_

_It was last night, that special night when he changed my life, when I thought we should tell our story. How we evolved through the years, as friends, enemies or lovers, we were meant to be with the other. _

_My name is Elizabeth Pratt-Summers and this is the story of how I fell in love with William Pratt, and how he fell for me. _

_**HIM **_

"_Throughout the castle, everyone and everything woke up and looked at each other with astonished eyes. Within the month, the Prince and Sleeping Beauty were married and lived happily all their lives." _

Ms. Chapman finished reading and snapped the book shut. Tucking a piece of brown hair behind her ear she announced that it was time to _play_. The entire classroom devolved into flying blocks and splattering paint. I, however, remained on the patterned carpet. I wasn't dirty now and I didn't feel the need to launch Barbies across the room or attack the teacher with glue. Instead, I settled for watching a nearby group of girls recreating the story. I don't understand why we have to share the world with these 'females'. The world would be much more functional without them.

I turn my attention back to the girls. The thirteenth fairy is in the middle of cursing Elizabeth. She must be sleeping beauty; her long, blond hair must be why they picked her. I rest my head in my hands as I watch her fall to the ground. They obviously didn't have a prince planned and before they had time to think it over, Ms. Chapman whistled loudly.

"Alright, please clean up and put your coats on. Your parents will arrive shortly!" She collapsed into the big chair and closed her eyes. Being raised politely, I put away the blocks and Trolls before putting on my jacket and slipping out the door, unnoticed. Mum would be waiting at home and Da would be in the middle of a bottle of Jack by now. I wonder how Da could be a prince; Ms. Chapman said everyone was a prince or princess. But never in any of the books do the princess's wither and never do the princes fail to rescue them.

My Da's more like a dragon, except instead of protecting the princess he fights her. It doesn't make sense, why would he hurt his Princess?

**HER**

My mom picked me up today, I guess I should stop wishing dad would. He never did when he lived at the house, why would he now that he lives away from us. Mom says that everything will be fine, and they're just going through a _'Rough phase'_. I don't see him anymore, he just disappeared from my life, today's my birthday and I thought he could find time in his day to at least drive me home.

I thought wrong.

Mom made me a cake and we sung and watched movies until 9:00. The phone rang on my way up the stairs and I paused, listening to Mom shout angrily into the receiver. She calmed down after listening to the phone for a minute and handed the phone to me. Pressing the plastic to my ear, I trotted up the remaining stairs.

"Hey, princess, I'm sorry I missed the celebration you had with your mom. I just had a lot to do. What did you do with your mom? Maybe we can replicate it at my apartment next week. How does that sound?" I listen closely to his voice, knowing I won't hear it again for a while. I accept the invitation even though I know it will be canceled by the woman who lives with him. She doesn't like me.

"Sure Dad, me and Mom had a princess party. With Bell and Ariel and Sleeping beauty! Ms. Chapman read us a book about Sleeping Beauty today, isn't it romantic?" I listened for Dad's voice.

"Very romantic, except boys don't kiss girls in their sleep." Dad's voice was gruff now, that's how I can tell he is serious about what he is saying.

"Why?" The princess wanted to be saved in the book, aren't the princes supposed to save them?

"Because the princess wasn't aware of the prince kissing her, if that ever happens to you, do you know what to do?" His voice is still very serious so I decide to answer seriously along with him.

We spent the next couple minutes debating the extent to which harm should be inflicted. In the end we came to one conclusion, smiling I listened to his voice. It was a rare gift and I intended to savor it.

He hung up before I could say goodbye.

**His POV**

As I expected Da was incoherent and mumbling when I got home. Mum had some new bruises and was bleeding on one cheek; she says she doesn't know how she got them again. She thinks I don't know; that I don't hear the pained cries and the thump of a hit crack against the walls.

We had finger painting for an hour; Ms. Chapman had more paint on her body by the end of the hour than any of the canvases combined. She changed my spot during nap time so I'm next to Elizabeth. I'm not tired so I watch her sleep.

I wonder if princes can live happily after ever by themselves. They always find princesses in the stories but if they can't save one can they still be happy? After I ponder the subject I come to the conclusion that princes _have_ to have princess's to live happily ever after. So if I want to live happily I have to find a princess. I turn my head so I can see the entire room. Katy is sleeping in the corner: Ariel. Sara is a Jasmine. Marina is Bella. Kathy is Snow White. I tick off my fingers, that was four of the girls, who am I forgetting?

I turn my head, looking around the entire room. I see a mass of blond hair and realize that I forgot Elizabeth, what princess is she? I try thinking back to yesterday, when she played Sleeping Beauty. Elizabeth is Sleeping Beauty, I should have realized sooner.

Sleeping Beauty falls in love with her price when he saves her from an endless sleep. I watch Elizabeth, curled up and sleeping soundly. It's quite obvious now, in order to be a prince I have to save the princess and Elizabeth is sleeping, possibly endlessly. I find the way to wake her a bit vulgar but it must be the only way.

Glancing at Ms. Chapman I walk over to Elizabeth and try to reenact what the pictures describe. Kneeling over Elizabeth I tilt her head so it facing mine and quickly press my lips to hers. Sitting back up I wait for her to wake up. Some of the other children are starting to stir, it's close to the end of nap time and she didn't wake up. Maybe I did it wrong, I lean in again, to make sure that she realized that I saved her and we would live happily after ever.

Suddenly, there was a blinding pain shooting sparks from between my legs. I tripped back and slammed into the floor, rolling around like I was on fire; I let out a slow moan of pain. Mid-role, I open an eye to see Elizabeth poised for another kick, this one to my shoulder. For such a small girl she has a surprising amount of force. More spots exploded into my vision, my shoulder felt like it was burning! Ms. Chapman stepped into view and plucked Elizabeth clear off the ground. I stopped rolling. Glancing in their general direction as Elizabeth was trying to escape Ms. Chapman's grip.

Lying on the ground, the burning sensation flickered away and a dull throbbing cascaded in waves around my shoulder and between my legs. A weary feeling of tiredness swept over me, drifting off I was vulnerable to the conversation beside me. Ms. Chapman was still very loudly scolding Elizabeth, snippets of the conversation bounced around in my thoughts. "Daddy told me to!", "Oh", The last thing I heard was a phone ringing and a stern "Do you know what your son has done?"

**Her POV**

I felt a bit of sympathy watching him roll around in pain but Daddy told me to do exactly that. Ms. Chapman understood the situation and was now calling William's dad. She was yelling at the phone now, saying things like "We will not accept this behavior" and "Get your head out of your arse and come down here now to talk to your son about what he has done!" She seemed really angry.

Mr. Henry Pratt arrived at 11:00, his face was red and he smelled like the brewery me and my mom visited last week. He had a half empty bottle in his hand and was swigging a gulp every handful of minutes. Ms. Chapman tried to seat him but with a halfhearted wave he managed to ward her off, then in a loud voice he announced multiple times that _'I don't need to be here' _in a slurred tone.

After about half an hour of this Ms. Chapman suggested that he leave and they sort this out when he was sober. He shrugged and grabbed William by the collar: "YOU NEVER MAKE ME COME HERE AND WASTE MY TIME LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN!"

His voice was so loud it hurt and rung in my ears. He carelessly tossed William across the room and threw his empty bottle in the same general direction. Unfortunately, the bottle nailed William in the chest, all of a sudden Ms. Chapman was screaming and Mr. Pratt didn't turn.

He wasn't going to come back.

In the time it took me to look away, only a couple of seconds, William was starting to bleed and Ms. Chapman had called an ambulance. I didn't understand why Mr. Pratt would hurt his son, William wasn't _that _bad.

William stayed in the hospital for around three weeks, along with stitching the wounds up they wanted to know how it happened. Ms. Chapman explained the scene in graphic detail and the police searched William's house less than an hour later. Mr. Pratt was gone, any tatter of his existence was removed, but the security tape from the school clearly showed his face. The police went in to talk to William and said they would 'keep looking' but two weeks later when William was released they still hadn't found him.

William stayed home with his mom for weeks after. Mom said we should visit them. Mom could barely hold back a gasp when we walked through the open doors. Letters were strewn across the floor, empty bottles whistled in the wind and Williams's mother was slumped in a nearby couch. Her skin was ashen and she looked like a ghost when she rose off the couch to speak to my mom. With a nudge my Mom sent me off to find William, he was rocking himself in a fetal form on the floor, he looked so scared. I didn't know what to do. The only thing I could think of was to do the one act that started this all and hoped it would end it.

So, just like he did with me I tilted his head and tried to imitate what I had seen my parents do once upon a time. It didn't mean much to me and I don't really remember it now, but the one thing that stayed in my mind for hours, that I pictured for months when I closed my eyes was that look. His eyes which I had assumed to be brown were clearing, like clouds after a storm. His eyes were icily vibrant, which should have scared me because I didn't know eye colors could change. But, it didn't, I could see the words in his eyes, even if he never said them.

I know that that night, I saved William.

The boy with a dirty crown.

-2317


	2. Misdirected Leather

_**GRADE TWO**_

_**Thank you so much to Cherryll and Spike's real lover for reviewing! I tried to make the POV's less confusing but it could be worse than the previous. SO review and tell me! I alredy have the next couple chapters set up so tell me when you want me to post them!**_

_**Again, this chapter will be a little short due to loss of plot…**_

_**Leather, Tulle and lace up boots**_

I held my head high as I sashayed into the classroom, quite proud of my outfit. William had taken a turn for the worst about a week ago and I knew it would cheer him up. When he was in a bad mood he would lash out and since his mother was almost always at their house she was usually the one with him when he exploded. It hurt when he screamed at her but it was the only way he could get past the ugly emotions that were bubbling inside him. He said that she didn't understand that she didn't know what it felt like to be beaten, or feel like the bad guy. Elizabeth, being Elizabeth decided she would show him just how bad she could be.

So on a Thursday at exactly 8:00, she swung into the classroom with leather boots, a tulle tutu and a leather jacket. _I hope he sees how bad I can be. _The second she stepped foot into the room all eyes were on her, for some people that would be uncomfortable, but not her, all the looks, either of jealousy or confusion she relished. Even the small gasp from the teacher was music to her ears, peering around the classroom for the one gaze she hoped to decipher she couldn't find William. Unexpectedly, a long hand wrapped around her leather clad shoulder, she looked back but only saw legs. Looking up the teacher, so fondly dubbed Drusilla by the rest of the kids in the class, was looking at her with a look of anger and, if I wasn't mistaken, just a hint of a smile. Unfortunately, What Elizabeth didn't know was the school had a dress code, and half an hour later she was perched on the large chair in the principal's office.

Unbeknownst to me, William was slouched in the chair beside her, pondering of he was dreaming. He knew that he hurt her by saying what he did yesterday, but he didn't expect her to go this far to prove that she can empathize with him. He was thinking more that he felt like the bad guy, her actions were misdirected; he didn't want her to prove that she could be the bad guy; he just wanted her to listen.

Nobody does anymore.

The principal stepped out of his office with a thud of his feet, announcing, almost sadly, "William, if you would please step into my office?" Elizabeth turned; William just strolled over to the principal and gave her a little wink, something he had seen people do before. He wasn't sure if he looked like he had something in his eye or he actually looked reassuring.

Elizabeth shivered, he always thought he was the bad guy, she had never seen him as one though. It was that very second when she realized just how bad he could be.

She was scared.

_(The day after)_

_**HIS POV**_

There were whispers of Williams father echoing through the walls. William and his Mom couldn't live in their house anymore so they sold it and moved in with us. Part of our house was renovated to make room for them. His Mum slept in her room but because money was still a little short and William slept in my room. At first the situation made my Mom uncomfortable, but eventually his Mom soled their house and gave it to my Mom as thanks. My mom works as a telephone operator, and works at a store on the weekends. I had hoped that this would not be permanent, because with my Mom caring for his she didn't have time for me. But, William was always beside me and for the first couple of mounts we each rotated in having panic attacks, there were times where I couldn't breathe until he talked, and there were times when he needed me more than anyone else would in my life. There are times now when I wonder if we would have made it through without each other.

For the first couple of mouths he slept on the floor, I think it was Friday when I joined him. Neither of us had felt so broken tonight, it was a first for both of us, I remember slipping the sheets off the bed the last day of school and curling up beside him, feeling safe for the first time since Dad left. Feeling loved.

It was just shy of ten years later when I shared my thoughts with him. They didn't fight for years, even then they trusted each other, loved each other. It took years for them to realize that, but just shy of two years to feel safe in each other's arms.

Now, when her Mom opened the door to her daughter's room and found her entwined with William she was ready to blow her top, but before she turned the harsh light on in her daughters room she saw their expressions. Arms intertwined there expressions were safe smiles; she hadn't seen her daughter smile like that for months, or William. They both had figured out that their fathers were not coming back, for one fear of them ever coming back was warding off that smile and for another it was the pure love and hope of him coming back that kept that smile locked up, replaced by some sort of shield that even her Mom couldn't penetrate. Her daughter had learned to lie so much it had replaced her smiles. Something in her was happy that William could get through.


	3. His Wandering Eyes

_**GRADE FOUR**_

_**I'm experimenting to see which POV is better so this one is not His POV and Her POV, That's the only change to the outline except for the fact that since they are so young chapters 1-5 will be shorter than the rest. Also, this story is T, and later chapters might need that rating (there won't be anything to bad but if you don't like that kind of Spuffy be wary of thoughts in chap 7 and 9 and you probably shouldn't read chapter 8 and DEFENATLY not 9…. But if you can read those chapters I worked hard on them and whenever you want me to post just review!**_

_**Sorry, this one is short!**_

Elizabeth glared at the scene before her, even though she didn't expect him to remain in a invisible state she was beginning to hate the monster she had created. You see, once William came out of his abnormally thick shell he was quite the hit, the boys bowed down in amazement to his superior skills at any sport with a ball, the girls flirted around him 24\7. His cheekbones were growing more and more prominent with every passing day. He was developing a smile that made everyone melt to his feet, and at the moment was soaring on a power high. Even with his newfound popularity Elizabeth didn't expect him to sink this low, because at the moment he was getting married to Katy.

It made Elizabeth sick, Katy had always made fun of her and now William, who was supposed to be her friend, had turned around and married her. She had thought they had been making progress, just last night they had made a breakthrough. Both of them had finally gone through one night without waking up, screaming their fathers name. Either in pain or love neither of their father's names had escaped their lips.

It hurt somewhere inside of Elizabeth that William would be so shallow, she knew that even as young as Katy was, she was a developing beauty; her temper was something of a legend though. Tears morning the loss of her friend pricked her eyes. A deep throbbing started inside her throat and moved down her body, creating something of a rhythm that made her wince with every beat.

Abruptly the increasing throbbing stopped and a pleasant sensation covered her body, at the moment she was glad that she had been watching the marriage. If she hadn't she would have missed the deadly aim of Katy's palm and been wondering why William was clutching his cheek and dribbling a handful of tears.

With that Katy kicked some sand at William and strutted away. Harnessing her obvious beauty, she wrapped her long fingers around a randomly picked boy. Pulling him out of his soccer game she tugged him to the steps and smiled at the receding shadow of William. Finally finishing the service the priest returned to his Nintendo.

You could tell William was annoyed; his cheeks melted though his cheekbones and framed his face with a wolfish glint. With a bit of a swagger in his walk he started his trek towards Elizabeth; _Nobody embarrasses me like that!_

From Katy's eyes all you could see was a pleading William and a shocked Elizabeth. Panic started to rise in her small body and she contemplated ditching Andrew. She calmed when she saw, in the corner of her eye, Elizabeth purse her lips and turn around, effectively shutting out Williams' begging.

Only a couple seconds later William had multiple offers from the rest of the girls at his fingertips. His pride winning out he accepted Sara's offer and argued with the priest. Only a handful of minutes later William was kicking around a soccer ball and staring daggers at Katy. Katy was gossiping with Sara who was showing off her new handmade ring. Elizabeth was perched on the rocks with a sort of smile on her lips. Even if no one else could tell she could, William was not happy. Whether it was the outcome of losing Katy or having to settle for Sara she wasn't quite sure but he had hurt her by only asking her as a second choice and he deserved to be punished.

What she didn't see and everyone else ignored, was the grooms' wandering gaze.


	4. Buffy the Universal Rust Cleaner

_**GRADE FIVE**_

_**I felt like posting this chapter tonight as well, so if you LIKE TWILIGHT DO NOT READ! This just came out so please do not flame because this is an early warning!**_

It's my birthday! Other than screaming with my friends there has been one thing that has been bugging me all year. William didn't get me a birthday present last year so I told him if he wants to stay at our house he better get me one next year. Obviously, he knew I was bluffing but promised to get me one next year.

I made huge hints as toward what I want. When we stopped at the store I lingered around the spa section hoping he would figure out why I held a case of removable tattoo's and bottled body paint for over an hour. Unfortunately even though William had always been free with his feelings, catching social cues were not his thing, even blatantly obvious like what I had done, I could not rely on him to fully understand.

So, there I stood, eagerly switching from looking at the package to taking a peek at William. Who too was wearing an eager smile, there was no worry bleeding out of the corners. Reassured by his lopsided grin I felt the package, the right size, and the right weight. I basked in the glory of getting what I wanted and held the package with an iron grip. I felt the excitement mount in me, creating thunderstorms or exhilaration; I tossed the package back and forth until I couldn't stand the anticipation.

Gloriously, I felt the wrapping paper tear beneath my fingernails. My smile was so wide it ached as I reached inside the cocoon of torn paper. Wrapping my hand around something I brought the object out, my smile faltered. It wasn't the right shape to be what I wanted. Taking my eyes off William's encouraging smile I look down to the large object in my hands. There were two objects, both mostly black and heavy. My smile flat lined, separating the objects, my worst nightmare came to life.

_Where had he gotten the idea for this? What on earth caused him to buy such junk?_

Because there, lying in my hands was a book and a movie that made fun of everything I believe in. Sparkly in the sun instead of burning, saving the girl instead of trying to kill her…. I hate this book for making fun of everything I loved dearly….. and William had the nerve to buy it for me?

"You got me _Twilight?_"

The smile dropped for his lips, he started to decipher the look on her face. Fury smoked the air around her, he swallowed. Of all the people he could handle when they were angry Elizabeth was not one of them. He thought this is what she wanted, they used to play games where he was the vampire and she would try to 'slay' him. When he went to the bookstore and mentioned this to the cashier, she smiled and handed him the _Twilight _package. He thought that Elizabeth would enjoy it.

_WHY?_

Putting the emotion behind him, William reached forward and grasped the movie in his hands. Watching her impossibly high eyebrows climb higher he turns and inserts the movie into the slot. She didn't move. As small as he was he managed to pull her up onto the couch. Pressing play on the remote he prayed that his plan would backfire in a way that would favor him.

Five minutes into the movie he felt her body move, just a bit. Only seconds later she laughed out loud, but only for a matter of seconds. It wasn't until she saw Edward that she broke down, she hooted and snickered and chuckled and snorted. Her body shivered and jumped, tears started to stream from her eyes, her hands covered her teeth, and her eyes were pinched wide as she struggled to keep on watching.

Meaningless words dribbled from her wide smile, I knew what she was thinking and I too wondered. _Why would she choose him?_ I don't exactly know what it would look like from girls eyes but Jacob is what every guy dreams to be. A wolf, motorcyclist, buff… But she chooses the loser who sparkles? Sometimes I really don't get girls. Elizabeth struggled to inhale and I smiled, knowing that, at least tomorrow she wouldn't be mad at me.

___**Please Review?**_


	5. Sugar, Spice and SPIKE?

_**GRADE SIX**_

**Thanks sooo much Spikesreallover and Cheryll for the kind reviews! I'm actually working on chapter 11 right now (graduation!) so I will post weekly. Although for some chapters because I love them so much I might post 2 at a time!**

**If your not clear on the way chpters progress for every chapter its about a year give or take. Grade three is nonexistant!**

**So, please review**

_**Just a hint of plot to adapt to the aging Spuffy**_…

_**Sugar, Spice and….. Spike?**_

'Slayer?'

The word echoes in Elizabeth's mind, tumbling around the section devoted to William. _Or, now Spike._ She can't call him that though, it sounds foreign on her tongue and she had come to know him as William not this Spike character who seemed to have taken over his body.

He had picked up a British accent from who knows where and was now exploiting it. She had once owned a shirt that stated _'If I had a British accent I would never shut up' _so she didn't exactly find the new pronunciation unattractive but it was the other changes that were unnerving. He had started to refer to himself in the third person as '_Spike' _and was creating nicknames for others that were quickly catching on. He referred to every girl except for Elizabeth and Katy as _'Bird', _Katy was now _'Red' _and the last unique names were for Liam. There were quite a lot for him, _'Captain Forehead', 'Poof', 'Grandpa' etc. _The most though were for her, he called her Slayer, goldilocks, luv and the most ridiculous yet... Buffy?

'Slayer?'

Shit! Deep in thought she had tuned out of reality. Why was William yelling at her? The answer came whirling at her from Katy's direction, even she, with abnormally fast reflexes couldn't doge the basketball that was only a foot away from her head. _SHIT, SHITTTTTT! &*#!###!$$$#$!_

Surprisingly, It didn't hurt. Reaching up tentatively with one hand she felt around her face, everything seemed to be in place pulling back her hand she could hear the gym teachers screams. Curiously looking back at her hand she realized it was dripping with blood, it wasn't until William reached her from the other end of the gym that the shock started to wear off and the pain started to rip apart her vision, leaving a distorted scene that seemed to be too loud. Screams echoed from every part of the gym.

William picked her up and brought her out the doors. Resting her suddenly heavy head on his shoulder she was glad for the silence. In the farthest corner of her mind she could hear him shouting into the phone and the ringing was the last thing in her quickly fogging thoughts.

'Slayer?'

This time when she opened her eyes she was ready for the basketball. Her arms crossed themselves over her face, waiting for the impact, she froze. The last thing that she expected was two warm hands to pull her arms away. Clumsily opening her eyes, the lights burned and she tried to focus on the figure in front of her. William stroked her hair with what she could only define as a loving touch, anger bubbled through the fog covering her. Why didn't he catch the ball? Why did he let it smash into her face?

'Slayer?'

The anger receded back into safe places, with that soft tone she couldn't help but relax, it was a melody, constant and she wasn't going to force it to go away. It was almost something she could have imagined. With anger and fog creating a deliriously feverish combination in her body, she was quite sure when she left the hospital that it had never happened. That he never kissed her, not really, just wishes and laughing gas exploiting her thoughts. She was glad that that never happened, because if it did it would have meant that she told him that _'I love you thisss much!'_ with ridiculous gesture right before she was knocked unconscious.

**:) Please review!**


	6. Swimsuits and a Poor Boy's Hormones

_**Grade 7**_

_**YAY! First real sort of plot to a chapter! I'm so excited! Spuffy has grown up so fast! (Cries in corner) What will happen when they don't need me anymore? (Cries more) **_

_**Wow…. I think I'm bipolar… But anyway this chapter was so much fun to write, it could have gone so many ways but I'm happy with the outcome. Please review and tell me if I overdid any of the paragraphs because I'm a bit lovesick so part of this was me vicariously living through Spuffy. **_

_**Swimsuits, tanning lotion and a poor boy's hormones**_

Buffy Pov

The bus jumped with every bump on the road; personally I thought that this trip was a waste of time. Last day of school and instead of letting us go home they dumped us on a bus to a waterpark. At least William is on this trip too, half the grade was back at the school ordering pizza, what I would _like_ to be doing right now.

Katy was giggling beside me and I had an overwhelming urge to slap her. Ever since William came out of his shell, the girls in the class started to have a giggle fit if they were within a foot of him. Usually I can contain the… anger…. But today I'm not feeling so great. Gathering power I slam the bottom of my foot into hers, which was trespassing into my side of the seat, listening to her yelping in pain I can't help but smile, she's deserved that for years. Glancing over to William's seat she hopes that he will notice her, obviously in pain… but no luck. Laughing to myself I can't help but feel like this is going to be a good day.

Empty Pov

Katy gathered her friends at the mouth of the park, while all the teachers were scrambling to organize the other kids. Whispering her '_evil' _plan to the girls she feels satisfied, Elizabeth would get what was coming to her and William would see that she wasn't worth his time and come crawling to her. The last part might not happen today but he would… Eventually. Handing her money to the cashier she whisked away the bag.

_Time to kill some Spuffy!_

Buffy Pov

Pulling out my old ratty one piece I sigh, it's not like I'm trying to impress anyone but it's not something I'm proud of. _SHIT! _I forgot my bag on the bus! Skidding on the floor I circle around the pool, since nobody is done changing its deserted; the teachers seemed to have disappeared. _SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! _Continuing my mantra into the change room I search for my bathing suit which I left hanging on the door.

I truly doubt that my eyebrow could have gone higher, because hanging from the exact spot where my bathing suit disappeared from, what I thought was a mess of hairbands turned out to be a _VERY_ petit white bikini. Since I had already gone through the whole puberty thing I knew in the back of my mind that I would look better in _this _than any of the other girls in my grade but it wasn't something I wanted to try. Realizing that I had also left my cloths with my bathing suit, the girls had given me no choice. Dropping my towel I struggled to figure out where all the strings go, a handful of minutes later I was standing in front of a full mirror. The bottom wasn't the real problem; even though the bikini was 2 sizes to small it kind of fit. _Fit_ meaning it covered the necessary parts.

No, the real problem was the top, I had figured out where all the straps go and now I really wish I hadn't. I looked like someone had given me two tissues to cover myself with and them secured them with string, it begs the question who designed this? It's meant for girls who don't have much in the chest department but it's unfitting for anyone under twenty. I will never understand how mothers can let their daughters out in bikinis when they're toddlers but other than humiliating me that seems to be the only purpose for this scrap of material.

Deciding to carry it out with confidence I slip on my flip flops and strut outside. _SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! _The other girls were lounging in the hot tub and the second I became visible their heads disappeared under the water and Katy started yelling at them for not getting something _'Fugly_ _enough_'. The guys were horsing around in the pool but one by one they turned their heads, obviously dumbstruck. I'm quite the antisocial at times so the fact that I'm doing this is processing through my mind and it seems to make less and less sense with every passing second.

But, there is this weird string that I've never explored before that's pulling at me, whispering little snippets of thoughts. _Your only doing this to impress him! How will he look when he sees you? Will he smile? Will he smirk? Will he stare in wonder? Will he crash his lips against yours and look into your eyes with love?_

_Turning the corner of the pool I am commanding all eyes except for the pair I desire, the cerulean depths in which you can sink in if you lose focus. Finding the sharp carved cheekbones I was grasping for I gracefully sweep by and slide up the seat next to him. He glances in my direction, and turns, surprise acting out desire he swiftly picks me up and kisses me. A moment I have been waiting years for arrives, my train of thought rams into the back of my head, unrecoverable and quite lost. Wrapping my arms around his suspiciously wet back I all but shrivel in the heat of his arms, all the ice in the world couldn't freeze me, I was drawn into desire and have no wish to ever surface. _

Now, unfortunately my mind creates the most elaborate fantasies. When in real life I'm collapsed in the chair beside William watching the boys try to distract themselves and the girls whisper-shout angry curses to each other as I foil their stupid plan. What I wasn't aware of was the constant swallowing, intense stare and small smile of the boy next to me, as William tries to think of dead cats and old ladies, I stare into my surroundings wondering if my prince will come.

_**Chapters are gonna get lustier now, so tell me what rating you want (PG-13, 14-A, 18-A...) **_

_**Please review! **_


	7. BLEACHED!

WARNING: _Death_

_**Also thanks so much to Spike's real lover and Cherryll for reviewing! It means so much! Also don't worry; the lustiness is coming soon (a bit next 2 chapters and ultimate Spuffy in the chapter after that)**_

_** Also thanks for the reviews! They make me feel so special!**_

_**Bleached**_

It shouldn't have mattered what color his hair was, it shouldn't have this effect on me. But, seeing him with bleached hair and I melt, his cheekbones seem even more prominent and his eyes look even cerulean instead of just blue. My knees seem to shake so much they could fold at the slightest touch, I close my eyes, and desperately hope the sudden wave of nausea will pass. As I open my eyes I vaguely notice that the peroxide hair seems to move closer, it's only when I can feel his breath on my neck that I'm aware of the close proximity between us. He is looking at me with a wolfish sort of smile, sucking in his cheeks even more. With most people this would be a stupid look but now I'm struggling to keep upright as my whole body turns to jelly. My breath is coming in short spurts and his eyes feel like their burning me; meeting his eyes I wasn't prepared. My knees held my weight again, his eyes stopped burning, my breath evened out, and when I met his eyes a feeling of cool bliss masked the panic.

"So…?"

It was clear that he was asking my opinion on something but my brain still couldn't sort anything out and it all seemed so unreal. His eyebrows, still a dark brown, knit together in worry of my lack of response. "Slayer, you okay?" I start to hyperventilate again and I have to sit down on one of the salon chairs. Shivers run rampant throughout my body and his breath scalds my skin as he takes my hand, what once seemed a comforting gesture turned suggestive as my brain struggled to shut down all the images of his hands in… other places.

"Umm… It's…." I can't seem to piece together the right words and I'm stuttering and hesitating "It's new!" I try to sound enthusiastic but _way _too much of my attention is on his fingers tracing my palm and I don't have the sheer effort to manage anything but a tired tone. The worry is sewn onto his face and concern acts as button eyes as he lifts me up. Usually I would be embarrassed by such a display in a public place. But, I'm too distracted by watching the muscles on his arms ripple than watching all the eyes reciting surprise, discomfort and curiosity. Shifting my head I can see, nervously, that he started walking and is taking long strides towards the parking lot.

My head gets heavy and electricity floods my body when I rest my head on his shoulder, absentmindedly toying with a short patch of his hair, realizing again that it's blond. His body rocks slightly with every step and I curl even more in his arms, surprised by how safe I feel with the protection of his steps and his smiles. Murmuring small snippets of comfort he places me in the passenger seat and unwraps his arms, jogging to the driver's seat.

Its shocking, how fast the electricity leaves my body, shooting sparks that hurt as it leaves and leaves a barren field. My arms stop tingling, my legs slowly grow stronger, my hair is blocking the view of Spike but I don't have the energy to move it. Just the small act of picking me up and _I_ feel like I have ran for miles.

The car halts and my vision blurs as he opens my door, raising me out of the car I feel like I've completed the circuit. The electricity returns to my body and the short time that I was without it I felt so lonely. Opening the door he lunges up the stairs and sets me down on my bed, whispering coziness, he leaves the room. Again, I feel a sharp stake of loneliness pierce my heart and I wonder why it is so vulnerable now.

I've always protected it so well.

"Joyce?"

Pressing my ear to the ground I hear slight whispers born of shouts echo through. His shouts get louder until, even though the floor loud shouts echoes erupt from the floor. The name bounces around the room; I can see it, in different colors. A group of peroxide letters is hopping in the floor, a herd of blood red syllables jump off the windows, cerulean names bleed through the floor.

"Joyce?"

I almost have the energy to yell at him for interrupting the peace that had taken a short stop in my mind. He was screaming now, his voice tainted with panic, his tone was fast and he sounded like every syllable was forced. It hurt to hear him like that but I remained on the floor, listening to every sound, now as I look back on it there was no reason I remained there, it was pointless but it was like I was caught in a frame, everything was moving but me and I didn't realize that I was stuck.

"Joyce?"

It stopped; his panicked song was cut off, jagged lines cutting into the air. A wail blossomed into the air; it was a horrible thing to listen to, a sorrow that couldn't be faked, a sound that happened once in your life, when the most important person in your life leaves you. Frozen in my splayed position I listened for anything that could tell me why he was producing that horrifying sound. There was a click of the phone and more frantic cries; I didn't hear him hang up, only a _thump_ rained in my ears. Faraway I could hear a piercing sound, I could see a strain of blue light illuminate the window and it wasn't until the red entwined itself with the blue that I connected the strains of clues and hints.

"Joyce?"

The piecing sound was sirens, the colors, looking so friendly in my window, were describing a story. A tale of hurt and pain, one that usually didn't have the happy ending that everyone was looking for. Those lights lit up happy endings and fed on the flames. Almost not realizing it, I was upright, stumbling towards the door, and more falling down the stairs than anything else. Once again splayed on the floor I saw something that bleeds into the dark, and for mouths after _everything_ was dark. William was slamming the phone on the floor, as if looking for a reason, with all the effort I had I crawled towards him. Dismissing the hint of a shoe next to him and not worrying about the strange smell that covered the room I drew closer. It wasn't until I was next to him that I realized there was somebody else in the room. Wishing with everything I had I opened my eyes again and I couldn't stop myself from trailing my eyes over the scene. The only thing that felt real was William; he had stopped smashing the phone and was looking at me with what I could only describe as an apology. _An apology for what?_ She was fine, reaching out to touch my mom, I set my arm down on something cold. Something that was stating that she wasn't alright, she wasn't going to shake it off, she wasn't going to come back.

Something that destroyed me.

William wrapped his arms around me and whatever safety that had flooded my body only an hour ago had left me. I couldn't look away, I couldn't do anything but stare at death and memorize the texture of the white blond hair that had made me so happy today. It didn't feel right, being happy on the site of my mother's death but entwining my fingers in his hair I couldn't help but feel comforted.

I stroked my mother's hand until the ambulance came, they knew the second that they stepped in the house that she was gone. The air smelled heavy, fogged with tears and death, the ground was barren of time, and the entire house was covered in a storm of loss. I don't know how long I stayed in that position, leaning against William, watching the painted uniforms take my mother away, knowing, with an aching heart, that they are never going to return her.

I couldn't tell what day it was for weeks, the light was hidden from me, even pouring through the windows it evaded me. It couldn't warm the layers of ice building around me, only William could build a bridge between our iced hearts, keeping it from sealing up. I don't know what would have happened had William and I not bleached his hair. My mother would still be dead, but I don't know if at some time I would have joined her, the shining platinum was the only color remaining after the greens had run from the walls and the blue sky rained down in showers around me.

We didn't speak for days, and when we did it was only to each other, small snippets of conversation, little things. William's Mom seemed caught in a black hole, he tried to build a bridge but her tired heart was to fragile, it would grow to be brittle and with too much weight it would break. He kept her from falling under the greedy waves of depression but she never swam out, she's still waist deep.

It was almost a month later when my words slipped, I was playing with his soft hair, still a shocking bleached blond, and the words escaped the gates of my mind and were tugged from my lips by the only color in the gray house. It was simple, only a handful of words, and he smiled, knowing I meant them. He whispered them back in my ear and I couldn't help but smile, the expression burned, but in a good way, it was cracking the stone mask that grew like ivy. Those words meant so much, I'll help you, I won't leave you behind, I trust you. It was that day, 26 days after my mother's burial that I promised to myself that we would help each other to feel again. It was that day when three words escaped my lips, and floated from his.

_I love you _


	8. Lovely Hearts and Sharp Nails

No reviews? That makes me sad. WHY? Did I do something wrong? I tried really hard! So please review on this chapter, PLEASE!

Reviews make me happy, and a happy author means better stories, longer stories and shorter update wait time!

Spike's real lover? You stopped reviewing! Where are you?

I miss you.

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**Buffy's POV**

"You bought nail polish?"

As weird as this sentence it is even weirder when aimed at your best friend. Who is a guy. When I was younger my baby cousins would come over and beg for me to do their nails, they were boys... but they were 5 and 3. It's not bad that guys could wear it, it just feels a bit weird when a 15 year old guy is asking you to do their nails blue. William looks at me with a pursed smile and begging eyes.

"It's not fair when you do that! You promised to only use your powers for good!" We used to joke that the power of his smile would make him arrogant, but after a couple years of doing it to get what he wanted he still hasn't gone power hungry. Except in cases like this, he knows I melt when he shows me that smile, and is now using it against me. _MUST RESIST!_

"Fine! But, after this you have to do them yourself!" Damn. I'm weak. Grabbing his hand, I sit him down on my bed. Undoing the top of the blue nail polish, I look back at William, wanting to make him feel guilty for using his smile for evil. He seems transfixed by something behind me; tilting his head in question, he tries to look further behind me.

On his second nail he turns his head to look at something on my right. Anger boils up inside me; setting down the bottle I turn to figure out what is distracting him. Confused by the state of my room I remember that earlier I was trying to organize my closet and had pulled out every article of clothing I own. Everything; Including my bras and underwear, all of which were in clear sight.

For a second William looks back at me. Wanting to be angry at him for not telling me, I look into his eyes. A dark pair of orbs look back at me, as dark as the night he got back from the hospital. Not the same kind of dark through, it wasn't fear that had dimmed his eyes.

_His eyes were darkened with desire._

Shaking off the rapidly growing feeling of uneasiness, I cap the bottle and pinch his ear, forcefully dragging him out of my room. Throwing him onto the couch in the living room, I quickly finish the remaining nails and sit next to him. We were both still reeling over the awkward situation.

"Do you want a snack?" It was a courtesy question, just to give us something to do. Nodding my head I watch him strut towards the kitchen. Absentmindedly, I watched ass for the last couple seconds as he disappeared into the kitchen. Embarrassed by my vision, I curl up further in the stiff couch, a handful of seconds later cheese dribbled onto my shirt. Looking up, William held a plate of melted cheese and crackers.

"YOU GOT CHEESE ON MY SHIRT!" I wasn't usually this protective of my clothing, nor was I a violent person but desperate times call for desperate measures. Tackling him, he dropped the cheese plate, it toppled over on the floor, unnoticed. Trying to get a better grip I straddle him, smiling in triumph at my win, a jiggle a bit. Taunting him with my easy victory, his face contorts in what looks like pain and something hard presses against my thigh. Before I have time to process the situation, he flips me over, angry at myself for losing concentration, I struggle to regain the upper hand.

By the end of the hour we had both rolled over in the cheese and had a gloss of sweat on our skin. Neither of us wanting to give up we halfheartedly shoved at each other. With a final burst of energy William rolled over on his side and captured my small frame between his arms. Our legs entwined and the hard lump on my leg was back, his breath glazed my skin and electricity seemed to flow to between my legs. As the anger of him winning and the adrenaline of the fight faded, my thoughts cleared as much as they could and I started to panic. His head was inches above mine, his eyes bore into me and his lips were formed in a winning smile.

My toes curled with the limited proximity between us, a couple of inches and I could kiss him, I could press my lips against his and finally know what it feels like to be in love. But, I don't. He loves me and I don't want to lose that to a chance at being _in_ love.

"Luv?" His eyes were icily clear once again. Worry was starting to gather his face. My arms flew, my legs struggled to find grip on the floor as I reached for the door, skittering on the carpet I catch a last look at William before I run. I wish I hadn't, the regret and shame in his eyes would haunt me. I ran. I ran so far, until I dropped. Desperately craving the comfort and love I felt in his arms.

Finally gathering my thoughts I stood back up and called Willow. A new transfer student to my school, and explained my situation to her. I could hear the motor of her car roar in the distance and hung up, waiting for her to arrive. Arrive she did, with Anya, Cordilia and Xander in tow. Sighing at the feeling of calmness, I slid into the car. The first handful of seconds were silent, Xander was the first to ask questions, and he only got through the second before an irritated look from Willow shut him up. We unloaded out of the truck and I knew I made the right decision calling Willow when I saw three overflowing bags of junk food and one case dedicated to bad movies. Pressing a smile on my face I follow them into the house, sans William.

_I miss him_

_._

_._

**William's POV...**

What the fuck? It was one thing to accidentally see her underwear but it was another to try to kiss her. It was stupid. To think that she could ever love someone like me, she is too far above me to even think of having a relationship with me. She's far to above me to ever even look at me but she treats me like a man. I've already pressed her to her limits, it was idiotic to press further, to want more. But it's impossible. To not think of her every time I close my eyes, to not fantasize, to not adore her. To love her.

It will never happen, I have to understand that. I watch the rain cross the lake towards me, not caring about wet clothing I accept the torrential wind. My shirt flaps around, stinging my skin, the rain burns my eyes so I surrender. Lying in the sand, covered in the inky rain, I give in. My mind goes blissfully blank, but she apperes, like she always does, at the end of my vision, only to become painfully obvious as she draws closer, wind rustling her hair, ever present smile sweet like sugar.

Clenching my eyes, I stroke the mud at my fingertips, a dark illumination of reality, as in my dreams her golden hair wraps around the pads of my fingers. Curling further away from reality, I look at dream Buffy. Eyes closed in peace, hair like weaved gold, smile distant on her lips, resting in my arms.

Far in my mind I know it's not right, She's not real, I'm beside a ghost of the angel. She wouldn't be, isn't, in my arms, she's scared of me. She's looking down. She's at home when I'm lying in mud. We are both where we belong.

I'll never deserve her.

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**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review!**


	9. I Come Running To You

Sorry about lack of posting, feeling a bit depressed lately, some problems at school and home… I'm a bit of a nerd and I had to do a dance presentation, end result: me crying in the bathroom on, and falling on my but in the middle of the presentation. I have no friends at and I try not to speak at school unless it's to my teachers. So, in short, I had a bad week. And, having no one to talk to about it other than my parents I thought I would ramble a bit on fanfiction.. Sorry about the long Authors note, there really was no point to it...

This isn't my favorite chapter so don't place to much weight on it.

_Who would we be without eachother?_

It all started when I took out the neatly folded papers to look through them once again. Ever since Buffy's first date in 9th grade I decided it would be smart to create a folder for the unruly boy, lucky as he was to get a date with Buffy he's just as unlucky because with Buffy you get me. That's just the way it works, and from the second I met the man who she was going to a _movie _with I hated him. A poncy lad who deserves a good whippin', Not deserving of a clearheaded, angel like Elizabeth.

After that when she found him making out with another girl I had to handle her, not that I minded but it rips my heart to shreds when this girl who is so clearly perfect gets her heart broken by a lowlife like _Robert, _or whatever his name was, because really I was focusing more of his fidgety hands and where they could go during the_ movie._

I believe the next was _LIAM, _can never hear that name with a straight face ever again, but when he approached Elizabeth and started to put his moves on her I devolved into pure fury. Wading into my subconscious I tried not to intervene with his obvious woo, I trusted Elizabeth to make the right choices and right now I was relying on her fully.

It was something like pure joy when she turned and dumped her slushy on his unnaturally strait hair. I swear I could see steam coming out of his ears, his focus was on Elizabeth but his anger was clearly driven to me, thinking that somehow I communicated with her by mind, which in all of our shared years had become possible at moments. Not '_I'll meet you at the bridge at 12:00' _mind tricks but more like we can feel emotion change in the other.

He continued to talk to her and try to woo her, not pebbles on windows like I might try if I was pushed to the limit. But on one occasion which I can't talk about he tried to…..Force her decision. Fortunately because of her practice with me in first grade she knew exactly what to do, and when she ran _Liam_ was left in the dust, clutching his jewels and writhing in pain. She arrived at the house in tears, almost falling apart by the door, but as she wrapped her small hands around me I could feel her body relax.

"Somebody was home, the fact that it was you just made it so much better" She confides in me years later. Now, as much as I love that she felt safe with me, I didn't feel safe knowing somebody hurt her and I wasn't there. Just like I wasn't there for her mother, I'm always much too late.

I never want to feel like that, I never want to feel missed and as long as _Liam_ walked outside this house I don't know how I will ever get over the feeling. Now, I had a plan, to call the cops and get him arrested. But, I'm not known as patient, or to have the slightest ability to restrain myself, my feelings were always quite strong and at that second. Scaring Elizabeth and me just a bit I could imagine hurting_ Liam_. I could feel his face crack under my fist, his knee break under my foot, his throat slide open with my knife. As scary as a boys mind might be I could always tell I was special, and I can tell you that if Elizabeth wasn't clutching onto my shirt with all if the strength she could muster in her small frame, I would have killed him.

I don't make a habit of lying and I'm not being dramatic, if she hadn't held me fast I would have stormed out of that house and enjoyed every second of brutally murdering _Liam_. Fortunately she was there and she wrapped her fingers in my hair and told me with every molecule in her body that '_It was a mistake'_ and jokingly _'I only have room for one crazy' _she ruffled my hair _'man in my heart.' _She might not have known then but those words held me fast. They may not have been the words I had been dreaming of but they were pretty F-ing close.

Tempted by my thoughts I shifted forward just a bit, only grazing her lips. Something I had imagined so many times, her fingers tightened and it was her that fully pressed her lips to mine. It was not what I had dreamed of.. It was different, her lips tasted like the salt of her shed tears and even though the world was spinning I couldn't really process what was happening. It was only when the Sirens were heard from the door that we broke apart, looking at each other we came to a simultaneous conclusion, neither of us believed that that kiss was real, looking at the door we prepared ourselves for the tangled mess waiting to enter.

As the medics entered to check Elizabeth out a policeman entered the house. This house, people joked, was haunted with her mother's ghost. Most people would move away from a house that was dusted with death, and If you didn't you were expected to not be letting go of the departed but my mother, who has since become almost comatose in her shred of life, Elizabeth and I had come to the conclusion that her mother deserved to be remembered. None of us have stepped into the living room since her mother's death and we all handled the grief in huge proportions, rarely sharing, but the hurt was finishing and the healing process was beginning.

The policeman shriveled his nose as he walked in the door, overwhelmed by the heavy fog of tears, the smell of blood that just seemed to climb on the walls and the forever rain of painful memories. This house might be haunted to everyone on the outside, but to everyone on the inside it is home, no matter the state.

Across the house I could see Elizabeth, overcome by all the attention she seemed to be leaning away from the medic trying to calm her down. It was like seeing a deer in the woods, not sure of the danger the humans pose, unsure of their intentions the deer wavers, trusting that the humans will care enough not to shoot its pure body to smithereens.

I sit on my bed almost a year later, looking back on the day. We brushed off the kiss like it was nothing and continued our odd relationship, being everything we could to the other, a friend, a parent, a caring figure and in a time of panic a '_shopping buddy'_ only later did I realize that it meant actually going into the stores.

I think that in 9th grade she realized that she could trust me with her heart, and I had already offered my heart to her. June 24th was the turning point, where that trust evolved to the point of love, when we truly formed a never-ending bond.

One that was unbreakable.

**It would really help if you just spend 30 seconds to submit a 'good' or a 'not so good' or a flamer even. **

**I cherish every review I get! **

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**PLEASE!**


	10. A Shower Escapade

Sorry about the long wait, School is devouring my life… But SUMMERS COMING! I'm very excited, can you tell? Also, the next chapter is as lusty as I dared, but its not done, I have no idea what to do for the ending! So, I wrote this really fast, and if I have time after I finish this fic, I will expand this and add to it, but for now it's a bit short. This is around grade ten, give or take a couple months!

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Buffy shook out her hair, droplets of water flying all over the bathroom. Passing her pile of cloths she continued downstairs, it was early in the morning, Spike was still asleep and she didn't feel like putting on wet jeans. Grabbing the pancake mix with one hand, Buffy clicked on the radio, it was her favorite time of day, Spike was upstairs and the best songs were on the radio. Closing her eyes as one of her favorite songs came on, Buffy abandoned the pancakes to turn up the volume.

Spike froze, _Why was she downstairs?_ He had ventured downstairs to look for a phone to call Oz, all his brain was fried now though. He had seen Buffy in slightly provocative clothing before, short shorts, skimpy tanks, and on a couple rare occasions some swimsuits. He had always had to excuse himself though, to run to the bathroom or the shower or his room, he was caught this time, he had missed his window of non-embarrassment, she was between him and the stairs. It was already evident what the slip of her towel had done, absentmindedly; the peroxide blond sat down on the wood, softly stroking the growing bulge, and decided to die happy.

Buffy turned back to the pancakes, abandoning Billy Idol, she skipped over the oven, setting the mix in the pan. The tapping of her foot evolved into full blown dancing, oblivious to the male hiding in the shadows of the next room, she let her towel slip a bit before tying it tighter.

Spike was sure someone was trying to kill him, Buffy had flashed him and he could make a sound, he couldn't just walk up to his room, he couldn't just take her on the counter like his body was itching to. He was in hell, he was sure of it. Seeing her dance wildly to Mika on the radio, her towel moving in all the right ways, and not being able to relive the throbbing bulge he was sure he would have for years after watching her.

Finally, the song ended and Buffy dug into her pancakes, in the back of her mind she couldn't shake the feeling of someone watching her, but the pancakes looked to good, food won out and Buffy ignored the eyes boring into the back of her head. Suddenly, Buffy felt something wet on her shoulder, _Fuck! _

Watching her flee the kitchen, Spike wondered if he had been caught, but since she wasn't running towards him to give him a piece of her mind, he thought he was safe. Using the opportunity to move into the kitchen her looked for anything to cover himself with so that, at least his pride might remain intact. Digging though the drawers in the kitchen he found something, tying it on, Spike started the painful walk up the stairs, only to be frozen by Buffy, standing by the shower, trying to get it to turn off.

"Spike? Why are you wearing my apron?"

_Shit._


	11. Twisted Lips

_Fuck. Wonderful, I'm sorry about the really long wait, I just re-finished this one, I thought I had it done and when I looked for it half of it apparently didn't save the last time.. lost this chap, the next and everything I had for the collage chaps, although schools done soon! So I should figure out how to recreate them soon…_

_**A Twist of Lips**_

She loved it. The way his mouth twisted and gathered, his cheeks melted to the bone, his eyes glinted with mischief. She had seen that before and it melted her to a puddle… but she had never heard anything like what he was doing now. A little growl rumbled from his mouth and gone was the puddle, replaced with explosives, Buffy was exploding in slow motion. Even though usually just the smile would get her energy to run into her crotch, the little growl coming from inside his lips was draining all her energy into between her legs and it was all she could do to not tackle him.

Then came the purr, it would have been completely ridiculous… coming from anyone else. But Spike was different; when he woke up in the morning he would make the most adorable sound, a mewl when he stretched, like a large cat. He knew this now because he could get her to make pancakes at 5:00 in the morning. She would camp out in his room sometimes, for no reason at all except to listen to him, it sounded safe to her. Everything else in her thoughts would dissolve at the purrs and rumbles that would erupt in his sleep. It might sound weird, but it just felt like someone was there with her.

She could imagine different sounds, sexy little yaps when she straddled him, lusty hums as she pushes off his boxers with her feet… Usually at this point in her thoughts she would take matters into her own hands, even if it meant getting up at 3:00 am, because she couldn't think anymore.

So she would be left to her own devices, wandering hands, as she wished he was awake. His fingers trailed her body, curling around her cloths, his mouth moving around rapidly to try to give attention to every inch of newly revealed flesh. Buffy sighed, _like that'll ever happen._

She had been doing exactly this for weeks now, only an idiot wouldn't realize what was going on. Fortunately Spike wasn't an idiot, bit slow at times maybe….

But not an idiot…

Spike got up one night; walking downstairs to get a glass of water he heard something. Backtracking up the stairs he tried not to make a sound as he padded over to Buffy's door. Giving in to his inner curiosity, he pressed his ear against her door, his eyes grew wide and his pants became a little tighter when he realized what she was doing.

He knew he shouldn't be listening, it was wrong, he should go back downstairs. But, he repressed his inner William and let Spike take the reins. Sliding down her door, he pressed his ear closer to the door, little moans swirled around the air and he knew that he would have to get larger boxers because these obviously were not going to work. Spike knew with every molecule in his body that he shouldn't be listening, but one part of his anatomy in particular obviously didn't understand. Every day he told himself that he wasn't going to do it anymore.. But he did.

Every night.

He knew he couldn't control what was happening, it was becoming an addiction, she was becoming an addiction… and he couldn't stop it. He never expected that one night he would cross the line. That he couldn't act like her friend anymore. She left the door open one night. He was a guy. You can tell what was going to happen.

So, Spike sat at the end of the hallway, his boxers had long ago been moved up a size but now he thought that he would have to forgo all type of confinement in the crotch area. He hadn't meant to, he was going to close the door. But he looked, and now he didn't think that he would ever be able to see her as a friend again. Her blond hair was mussed and wild, her limbs were writhing in pleasure, sweat shone on her frame, she looked like a goddess… and Spike knew that he couldn't go back. He couldn't go back to being her friend.

He had gone too far. He realized exactly what he had been feeling these past weeks, the twisting of his stomach every time he saw her, the need to see her, the want to just be around her almost consuming him. He was a pathetic little puppy, following her around for a speck of a crumb of attention, but she was well worth it. Buffy, with her luscious golden hair, shining emerald eyes, full pink lips that curved into a smile that lit up an entire block… he had been the reason for some of those smiles, it blew his mind, that he could ever even come into contact with something so pure, innocent.

But he had, he had seen her at her best and worst, he had seen her cry, he had made her laugh… his heart ached whenever she touched him, a hole was gnawing at his stomach for every passing day that he didn't tell her how he felt. How he felt… how she could turn a right shitty day around with just an appearance in his bleak little life, how Buffy could get him to do anything with just a glance his way. So how he felt, now, was clearing to him, and Spike wondered if he had always felt this was, had always had these emotions, but they just surfaced now. She smiled, he smiled, she laughed, he laughed, she cried, he cried… he lived, breathed, Buffy…

_He loved the girl._


	12. Leaving Is So Permanent

**Sodapopshop, YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! '**_**virtual hug!'**_**. Did you get the PM? Because I sent one and you didn't reply! I don't really want to have a page long authors note so I will send you another PM answering your questions! OK? If there are any problems I will reload the chapter with any explanations you might need… Very confusing I know… I'm gonna send you the PM now… **

**Go check…**

**Also, I am going to leave for a camping trip... Im very exited... So I can't post\write the next chapters until next week!**

**Ok, so the second part has a couple lines that are from BTVS, and all that belongs to Josh and ME. Sadly they won't give me Spikes address… They keep saying something about a**_** 'James Marsters'**_** You know him?**

_**Leaving is so permanent**_

The moment both of them had tried to forget since the second they met had arrived, the moment when thier hearts would break. She got accepted into a small local university and his acceptance letters arrived with a surprising outcome. Oxford, had the desire to bring him under their wings. The letter which would usually give so much joy to families is laying on the kitchen table, like an leper.

Buffy had discovered it this morning, after a brief lockup in her room and a subsequent blowup of feelings had shaken me back to the ground. For a second Spike thought he could go, he could put his past behind him, but when her reaction imprinted itself into his memories it became clear that she would have to be among the past for him to move on. Prepared to tell her that he wasn't going and equipped with a tub of rocky road ice-cream, he slipped through her bedroom door.

Spike wasn't prepared, her hair was mussed and wild, her eyes were shut, her mouth was bleeding just a bit. The ice-cream splattered the floor as he crouched beside her, her eyes open from the sound, if possible even wilder than her hair, she was muttering unintelligible things.

"I-I ccan't can't los- cann't…. nnot possible! Everyones w-walkingg away. No oness here here… leaving…" Buffy shrank from his touch, but he managed to turn her face towards his. Looking into her eyes, the wild element dispersed, leaving a broken reflection. Spike traced the shell of her ear with his thumb, his other hand trying to keep her facing him.

Buffy was in a state of panic, _He can't leave too! My mother was the most important person in my life until she died, he's not dying… but he's leaving, which in some ways could quite possibly be worse. He's leaving by choice, he's leaving me and he's not going to look back. _

Her heart is pounds, it presses against her rib cage, her thoughts are muddled, tears stream unrestricted down her cheeks. Both their hands shake, pressing aginst one another as if the other was all they needed to survive.

_Its my worst nightmare come to life, I'm alone… This time William wasn't going to wake me up and tell me its all a dream._ I think _He sits beside me, if it was a regular day between us I would move closer… But today wasn't normal, today was a horror, the man with the mask and the chainsaw could be around the corner and I wouldn't care, because this is worse. Once, after my mother died, I wondered if I would go to hell. I hadn't done anything that should result in such punishment, but what had I done to deserve going to heaven. I hadn't done much of anything, if William had to leave for me to make a change, and for him to make a change… Who was I to stop him? _

_Dying has a grace around it, some type of conclusion maybe, but being left in the dust by the man you love more than anything in the world because he deserves better than you…._

That's hell…

"Buffy, luv?" Spike sighs, the girl was curled in his arms and he couldn't reassure her that everything was ok. He was a failure.

"W-William?" He froze, only Buffy could get away with calling him his real name, it sounded so lost on her lips, not unfamiliar or strange… Just lost.

"Cor, pet, you scared me there. M' not goin', you know that.. right? I wouldn't leave without you." Spike tried to keep his hold on her, but she slipped out of his arms, determination momentarily masking the tears that still threatened to run.

She looked back at him, tears stained her cheeks. He couldn't help but want to cry with her. But she steps out of reach, moving closer to the door.

"You have to. Sunnyhell is too little for you, you got accepted into a great school, I didn't." With a nervous little giggle, Buffy met his eyes again. "You have to move on, from Sunnyhell, from me."

"Buffy, no. Pet, you mean everything to me, I won't leave if It hurts you." Stepping closer, Spike wraps his arms around Buffy's quivering form, wanting nothing more than to stop her tears, he bends closer to her.

"William. You have to leave." Stepping out of his grip, Buffy moves to the window, sure if she looks back into his blue eyes, she'll break and ask him to stay.

"You have so much more out there for you, they offered you a full scholarship, you could actually have a life out there. I don't want you to stay here. Leave." It was the hardest thing she had ever said, but he needed to hear it.

"Buffy, luv. You don't mean this, your just trying to make me go."

"No, I'm not. I'm stuck here, but you're not. I don't care if you leave. Your my friend, and if you care about me you will leave. Now." Buffy didn't know if she could lie any longer, her thoat was closing up, it was already getting harder to breath and he hadn't even left yet. She was sure she would suffocate once he moved.

"Bulloks, M' staying here. They can all sod off." Reaching out for her, Buffy once again stepped out of reach.

"You don't get it do you?" finally looking at him again, she couldn't look away. "I don't care. I don't care if you step off the end of the earth. Your nothing to me. I have other friends, I have a boyfriend who will still be here when your gone, I got into Sunnydale U, the house was left to me in the will. I don't need you." She knew she dug deep with the boyfriend remark, but she didn't care anymore, he had to get onto that plane, he wasn't staying here, not if she had to drug him and forcefully push him onto that plane at gunpoint. He was better off without Sunnydale, and everything that came with it. Even her.

"Luv, you don't mean that. I've known you for ten plus years, I can tell when your lying."

"Than you know I'm not right now."

"I'm not leaving"

"Yes, you are. You will get on that plane…"

"Or what?

"Or… I will"

"What?"

"You heard me, I will take your ticket, I will find something to do there, and I will fucking make sure you never find me."

"Buffy…"

"Who's leaving, you or me?"

Spike looked back at her tearstained cheeks, her eyes were overflowing with tears, it became clear where the saying cry me a river came from, because with all the hurt in the room, he was sure they could fill an ocean.

"I am, I guess." The words ripped a hole in her heart, almost like he had torn a package, and there it lay, warm and bleeding in his hands. The world felt too heavy with unshed tears to hold upright, and it curled and twisted in her eyes as she dropped to the floor.

_What have I done?_

_What have I said?_

_What have I left?_

**_Ok, I separanted this into two chapters just so that it makes more sense..._**


	13. What Do Tears Taste Like?

**Part 2,**

From her spot on the floor, she heard a long string of British profanity and a _thump, thump_ as heavy feet climbed the stairs. Buffy could swear she had fallen asleep as the door handle rattled, and a Doc stepped into the room. But as a black chipped nail came into view from her spot on the floor she knew he had come back. She wanted to hate him for it. She wanted to yell at him. She wanted to cry with him. But most of all, she wanted him to love her.

And love her he did. A first kiss is supposed to be something of excitement and wonder, but it was so much more for Spike and Buffy. The whole world melted at their feet, all of the tears they had shed, all of the pain they had felt, everything that just hurt, fell. It was almost as if they could taste the ashes of a fallen city around them, for all they cared the world could have gone to hell at that time, they were lucky it didn't.

Buffy could remember the cool touch of his lips in the past, an innocent brush on her hand, an friendly kiss on her cheek, but she didn't remember the fire. The cool tangle of his tongue mixed with the blaze of his lips, Buffy was sure she had drowned in her tears, there was no way anything so close to heaven could be felt on earth. What had she done to deserve this? The flames that coated the room, she was sure she was burning, and what a wonderful way to go.

Spike almost wanted to pull away, but fear of having her look at him with horror or disgust kept his arms tight around her. She tasted of innocence; it was intoxicating, he was sure if he pulled away now he would never stop wanting more. Spike wasn't sure if you could form an addiction so fast, but then again, was it fast? How long had he been kissing her? The sun could have set and risen a handful of times, it could have only been seconds, really, he wasn't sure. All that clear to him was that he was holding an angel, he was sure if he loosened his grip she would fly away. Leaving him with nothing but the taste of her on his lips and memories of her smiles.

It could taken years, or just a heartbeat, and it wasn't clear who started it, only that before either of them could process the change, Buffy was clawing at his bare back as she clamped down around him, in the midst of all rhythmic beat of the bed hitting the wall, the springs creaking eerily combined with both of them crying out it was a wonder how she whispered in his ear, and how he heard her.

"You can't leave" Spike knew he shouldn't have pushed it, but he had never been one for thinking things though, and with her sucking on his pulse point, anything he thought was going to come out of his mouth.

"Why's that, luv?" Spike felt the change, he was sure she was about to push him away from her and stomp out the door as she had done in the past, but instead she surprised him. Twisting so she could look at him properly, she gave his ear a little lick before whispering:

"Because I'm not ready for you to not be here"

Spike rolled over, searching for the warm body that had been around him only hours ago, greeted by a cold sheet, he groggily opened his eyes, searching for her, but only finding a crumpled piece of paper. Blinking away the leftover fog, he sat up.

_William,_

_I know you must be confused, but I did warn you. You can't look for me, I've already left, your plane ticket is on the bed stand. I know you must be in pain right now, but its best if you hate me, so I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Last night meant so much for both of us, and if it weren't for reality I would have loved to stay, but you got accepted into OXFORD! _

_I'm so proud of you, and I know this must sound like a goodbye, but I will see you sometime, when we both have out lives set straight, when I find something to do. I'll visit you at your dorm, I'm not promising it will be soon, or ever. But, as much as it hurts right now, there will be other girls for you, there will be university for you! You have an amazing life ahead of you, and you mustn't throw it away._

_I love you, __Slayer._

**He was crying.**


End file.
